What 16 years of motherhood as taught me thus far!

I have officially been a mother for 16 years.  My eldest son Cody has just turned 16 this summer.  

This week I thought I would share a few thoughts on motherhood thus far that just may help someone:

No.1 all time tip to relieve the pressure of perfection - The house will always be messy and never absolutely perfect or clean!  I use to run around all the time and make sure the place was spotless before guests would arrive.  Now, I am more in my declutter stage, we definently get messy and I can't remember the last time linen was changed, bathrooms were cleaned (properly Mum style - the boys take turns cleaning their bathroom now).  I do now make sure the downstairs bathrooms is always freshened up and the kitchen is presentable ( as you enter my house you go straight into the kitchen and dining area).  But alas I always loved saying, sorry you missed it, the house was clean yesterday cause you know it takes them two seconds to trash the place!

Self-Care is still crucial:

As your children grow older and become more independent, it's important to prioritise self-care. Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, spending time with friends, or simply enjoying quiet moments, self-care remains vital for your well-being. What things did you do before kids that brought joy, calm and fun to your life.  This has been a learned lesson for myself and a good dose of burnout, not knowing when to switch off with business, work, mum, wife, sister, friend all got too much and I had no idea whether I was doing a good job at any of them.  Go gentle on yourself and take note of those things that make you stop, breathe and relax - go do more of those things.

Embrace changing roles:

As your children become teenagers or young adults, your role as a Mum evolves. Embrace the changing dynamics and find a balance between offering guidance and allowing independence. Be open to adjusting your parenting style to meet the needs of your maturing children.  This is a curveball which keeps hitting every year and then some.  Our boys are 14 months apart and as soon as I think I've nailed the age, then comes Austin and just proves to me that they are both so different and navigating them, their levels of life can be so so different.

Maintain communication:

Teenagers may start seeking more independence, but maintaining open and honest communication is key. Create a safe space for your children to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively and be present, even if the conversations become more challenging. Building a foundation of trust will strengthen your relationship.  Family dinners, movie nights, game nights, pool catchups, ocean days to reconnect, evening walks, bike rides whatever you can to build connection, trust, communication now and schedule it non-negotiables into your calendar.

Invest in Personal Growth:

As your children grow, consider investing time in your personal and professional growth. Pursue new interests, take up courses, or explore career opportunities. This not only enhances your own well-being but also sets a positive example for your children about the value of lifelong learning and personal development.  I've never studied so much in the past 7 years and still going!  I found what I am truly passionate about at 38 so I aint stopping now.  As the boys study in the last few years of schooling, I will be to!

Celebrate Milestones (yours and theirs):

Reflect on your own journey as a mother and celebrate the milestones, both big and small. Take pride in the parent you've become and acknowledge the achievements of your children. Celebrate their successes and support them through challenges. By recognising and appreciating the journey, you create a positive and uplifting family atmosphere.

What I know now is, everyone is going through something, every mother is going through their own things and we need to drop the comparison thief and band together in the trenches of parenthood and support each others back.  

Do me a favour, go support a fellow women in your world today!